Self-Portrait from Sherburne, NY
by Erin Lutz

I avoid wearing skirts, shorts, anything
that shows off the legs that I let
get so pale in fear of ticks, mosquitos, anything
with mouthparts meant to bite me and my extremities.
I’m not too keen on bug spray.
So I don my baggy blue jeans, the pair my mom
bought me my senior year of high school, and
I loop the button through the belt loop and
pretend they fit me just fine.
I lace up my hiking/winter boots and hit
the highway (state route, actually) and
I shoulder my way into town.
I listen to music that sounds like cowboys and
country living because my ears think
it sounds just like what my eyes are seeing.
So I walk into town, pretend I’m
not some suburbanite stranded in a county seemingly
none of my New York-native friends have heard of, and
I pretend this is my village, pretend that I grew up
with the same river and the same fields and family farms and
Gus Macker tournaments that everyone else here
has inherited as their birthright.
I find a nice bench in the heart of town,
right outside the library/church/townsquare, and I
read some cheesy young adult novel while I wait
for my taste in storylines to mature.
Later when I can’t stand the smell of the dog food factory or
the feeling of hoverflies licking at my legs any longer,
I’ll shoulder my way back home,
back to the old stone house that I’ve called home
for two summers now, and I’ll listen to
my cowboy music and look up to a sky
I could swear that I’ve known for all my life.

~

Erin Lutz was born and raised in Pittsburgh, PA, but she is currently a senior studying Environmental Science at SUNY College of Environmental Science and Forestry. Besides writing, she also enjoys horror movies, trivia, and spending time outdoors.

Featured image: Erin Lutz, 2024

Author’s Note: This poem was written as part of a self-portrait assignment for a poetry class. I chose to write a place-based self-portrait, inspired by the two summers I spent in Sherburne, New York working as a camp counselor. Specifically, this poem details how I would usually spend my Saturdays, by fleeing our cramped on-site house to enjoy myself a stroll into town. There was a particular moment on one of my usual strolls where I looked up at the sky and realized how much I loved Sherburne, despite all the stress from my internship, which feels in line with the theme, “Searching for Light.” All I really want to convey to anyone reading my poem is how much I love and appreciate Sherburne, and how grateful I am for the two summers I got to spend there.